Cultivating Singleness
By Dave Lomas & Jessica Gracewski
Dave Lomas and Jessica Gracewski teach from 1 Corinthians 7:29-35 on singleness as a framework for developing intimacy and connection with God, as well as cultivating a healthy and full single life in community.
Cultivating Singleness
By Dave Lomas & Jessica Gracewski

Singleness & the Kingdom of God: Cultivating Singleness (09.30.19)

Opening Prayer & Silence

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives. 

Psalm 37:23

Open your time together with three minutes of prayerful silence, remembering that where you are right now is God’s place for you. Ask Him to show you some of the details of your life that He delights in. Afterwards, ask a few people to share anything that came up for them in their time of prayer. 

Reflections & Confession

Spend a few moments reflecting on this Sunday’s teaching and have one person volunteer to summarize key points and reflections. 

Read through 1 Corinthians 7:25-39 two times. Have one person read it in The Passion Translation and another in The Message. Then, split into groups of three and discuss: 

  1. Our culture oftentimes paints the single life as one that is lacking in love, intimacy, partnership, and commitment. In what ways does this resonate with you?
  2. What picture does Paul paint of the single life in verses 25-39? What comes up for you as you sit with his words? 
  3. Read 1 Corinthians 7:17 MSG aloud. How often do you find yourself wishing you were someplace else or with someone else? In what ways is your life not the life you would have chosen for yourself? 
  4. What longings do you think are at the root of these feelings? What tension do you feel around them? 
  5. How might God want to meet you with understanding and hope in these areas? 

Spend a few minutes bringing each person before God in prayer over what came up during this time.


On Sunday, Jessica Gracewski talked about God “using our singleness as a prophetic sign of God’s love” by intentionally “cultivating singleness well.” Below are some questions for you to consider. All together as a larger group, review the following questions and share in response to any that stand out to you: 

  1. Abiding: Have you noticed a pattern between when you’ve felt most connected to God and when you’ve felt the most heartache and longing? How might God be inviting you into greater intimacy with Him?
  2. Boundaries: What emotional boundaries (such as dating) might God be calling you to spend prayerful time considering? 
  3. Cultivating Joy: Oftentimes, the only relationships of love and commitment that are celebrated in our culture are romantic or familial. What are some other kinds of relationships of love and commitment that you want to rejoice in this week? 
  4. Cultivating Community: How might you cultivate deeper connections through hospitality? How might you invite people into your life rhythms or join people in theirs (e.g. exercise, inviting yourself over for family meals, partnering in hosting, scheduling phone calls during commute times)?


Return to your groups of three and share what God may have invited you into through this group time. Pray together about it. End your time in the Unity Prayer with simple, one-line prayers of “Lord, hear our ____.”